We had a bit of a conversation about award shows on The Venntertainment Show this week (get thee to the podcast now please if you haven’t.) I wouldn’t say it was a conversation so much as me ranting in an excitable way as I am obsessed (obsessed!) with award shows. They are truly the greatest thing about the Hollywood machine. We discussed some of the cliches of the shows throughout the piece but what if? What if something different happened? Here are the things that I would like to see happen at awards shows:
“I really want to win!”
I’m so sick of these drips at the Oscars etc saying things like “I’m just happy to be nominated”. Eh, you’re there to win! I want to see a few stars with their eye on the prize who aren’t afraid to say it. “Well if I don’t win, I’d be raging to be honest” would be a much more interesting statement for your Kate Winslets to be saying then the usual guff. I want to see people diving for that Oscar trophy and starting fights on the red carpet about how they deserve it.
Who Are You Wearing?
Nicole Kidman should wear this in pink.
I would love to see someone turn up to the Oscars in a tracksuit. I’m not sure why as this kind of sartorial no-no would usually annoy me. But I can’t help but feel that the sight of Nicole Kidman in a bit of Juicy Couture would be a nice break from the sea of evening gowns that is the red carpet for most of these things. Admit it, you’d laugh! Also it makes them much more of the people because let’s face we all feel alot more comfortable dressed down than in some ridiculous get up.
More Ridiculous Moments
Ridiculous!
The best bit of any awards show is always when somebody veers off script and does something ridiculous. I’m thinking Jennifer Garner tripping on her dress while presenting at the Oscars, Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift that sort of thing. It would be great to just see producers of awards show let celebrities be their obviously crazy selves more often. These ridiculous auto cue scripts they read are a pile of rubbish. There should more trainwreck moments because they are way way way way more fun to watch then some painful attempt at humour between two actors. Have you noticed how bad alot of these people are at reading auto cues too by the way? Surely if you’re an actor it shouldn’t be that much of a stretch? Given that reading lines you’ve been given is kind of YOUR JOB.
Seatfiller Glory
The greatest job in the world?
Some of you may or may not have heard of seatfillers. They are people employed to sit in the seats left empty during awards show to make the audience look full on screen. Usually they are placed in seats when a celebrity has to get up to accept an award, present one or perform. Obviously this is a ridiculous job but wouldn’t it be gas if the seatfillers didn’t get up? I dream of an awards show where all the celebs are left standing in the aisles in desperation while some nobodies take the front row award show seat. Amazing. Fun fact, Destiny’s Child alum Kelly Rowland made a movie about this very subject. View the trailer for this cinematic milestone here
Funny Faces
More of this kind of thing please.
I really want to see a celeb pull a really unflattering funny face when the camera hits the mid show. Wouldn’t that be ten times more interesting then their “I know the camera is on me but I’m going to keep my cool” stuff they pull. It’d make the whole thing alot more entertaining. Though I’m starting to think that if I ran awards show they’d be full of pratfalls, fights and chaotic seating plans. Although is that such a bad thing?
Am I alone in this? Please tell me, how would you like to improve/degrade award shows? Maybe we should a Venntertainment one and it’ll just be full of celebs making funny faces. Sound off below.
