We were having the chats about where music distribution might go in the next few years on the show this week (You and the podcast need to get together so you can have a listen! ). Interesting points came up throughout. Musicians are really in a bind aren’t they? Do not worry though. As I am obviously a patron of the arts I am here to offer five ways to keep the money rolling if you are a person of musical talents. Or a musician as they are more widely known.
Open Up A Letting Agency
In this current economy climate letting agencies are super busy letting out all the propreties that people did not get to buy during “the boom”. So if you are a struggling musician why not open a letting agency? But not any old letting agency, one that sells potential lets through songs and gigs. So you could bring a potential letter (is that what they are called?) in and sing them a song extolling the virtues of said property. And given the broad range of musical styles people like there is potential here to employ lots of people. Everyone is a winner.
Merchandise!
This could be you music heads.
Obviously lots of famous types market perfumes/bed linen/assorted crap based on their name all the time. The logic being that music itself might not be profitable but the ancillary benefits of it are. But you don’t have to be uber famous for this work, surely music has enough pull to work in favour of anyone? What about Jerry From The Local Wedding Band’s Bacon Rinds? Or Betty the Karaoke Queen’s BBQ Sauce? These people can sell their salt of the earth nature to market a range of products. It’s not just the Britney’s of this world who have the monopoly of making money of something other than music sales.
Get It On The Telly
your new musical home?
This isn’t a new one but it’s no secret that most bands make huge money from getting their songs on high profile TV shows and even more high profile TV ads. As such I think more shows need to open up to more bands. Why not have some new electro pop starlet underline a particularly tense discussion on Prime Time? Or have some hardcore metal band brighten up a otherwise moody moment on Fair City? I think it’s high time we rejigged how use music on the telly so lots of bands/artists/general musical types can make a bit more money.
Blag Your Way on To A Big Tour
Your new assignment!
High profile artists are still making a fair wedge off touring even in these hard times. So what that in mind why not blag yourself a spot on a big world tour? Put it this way, if you can manage to BS your way into getting onto the Lady Gaga tour, you’d make the kind of money that most music heads only dream of. Even if you only made it a week before they realised you were blagging you’d make enough money to live off for at least a few months. At least. And if you got on the Gaga tour you could probably steal one of her props and wear it as a hat. This point is rapidly becoming a way for me to blag my own spot on the Lady Gaga tour isn’t it. Oh dear.
Marry Rich
Your ticket to musical freedom
Look. I want to say that you should get there on your own steam and become a huge success. But wouldn’t it be great to just marry a rich person and use their money to fund your music? You’ll feel like you’ve sold your soul to the devil but you know what, when you’ve got the big tour, the crap merchandise and the number one hits you’ll be too busy counting the money to remember what your soul is. And you’ll probably have sold it to by some new shoes by that point anyway.
So there you have it. I am aware that I have changed the lives of many of you musical types out there. And you don’t have to thank me. Just take this advice and go forth and spread your musical magic around the world. Good luck, my musical friends. Just don’t forget to thank me when you win your Grammy.
Don't forget to thank me!
